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Twelve Days of Fabulous. #6: Piss Problems
Women suck at peeing. Real bad. Birthing babies through love tunnels, girly surgeries, weak twat muscles; it all adds up to pee where it shouldn’t be. There are a few different types of ways pee-pee...
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Twelve Days of Fabulous. # 5: Finding stuff in your patient’s crotch.
I love it when you turn your patient or take a peek at their foley and a warm surprise is waiting for you. “Let me guess you had the salmon with rice for lunch.” “Oh, there’s your cell phone! Let me...
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Twelve Days of Fabulous. #4: Penises
I have seen so much dick, it’s sickening. If I had a nickel for every shlong I’ve seen, I’d be shitting hundreds of nickels. Broad. Chubby. Pastel Pink. Curved. Black. Crooked. Colossal. Gruesome....
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Twelve Days of Fabulous. #3: Patients say the darndest things.
“Cunt.” “Are you the Prime minister of Korea?” “I can only sleep in my bed with my six cats.” “That doctor has a saggy ass.” “Oh, by the way, I haven’t pooped in 17 days.” “Why, you’re an ancient! I...
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Twelve Days of Fabulous. #2: Poop Puke
Poop: Excrement Puke: Vomit Both equally horrible and disgusting in their own rights. One could lead to the other and vice versa. I’ve done both at the same time and it was dreadful. There’s a mutated...
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Twelve Days of Fabulous. #1: Poop coming out of a vagina
For all you non-nursey type people out there, this is a real thing. Wires get crossed. Pipes get busted. There’s nothing fabulous about it, except that you now get to add it to your extremely long list...
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I’m a Versatile Blogger Award Winner
A big thank you goes out to The Chick Dick Mysteries, who nominated me for the Versatile Blog Award! Nancy is a fabulous woman who is a former nurse; a rogue, indie author; has an unhealthy shoe/purse...
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Pulling the Poop Plug
When patients don’t poop it’s pretty awful. We tend to complain when patients shower us with shit but it’s just as bad when Poop refuses to show its dirty, ugly face. Poop: “Neener, neener, neener.”...
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Hangover Cure
You drank too much. You, fucking idiot, you should’ve drank more water the night before or not drank so much. Now we get to pump fluid through your veins. I can't wait to do this to one of my friends....
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Vaginas
Vaginas are disgusting. Especially when they belong to a sick woman. Dark. Wet, Creamy. Moist. In close proximity with the stink eye. Crotches are just perfect playgrounds for stink spores and germies....
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